By Diane Magnette Owner and Creator of Love Infinity For All
EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS - We all have them. Naturally if you suffer from a brain disorder, experienced a trauma or are a highly sensitive person most likely you will be a lot more aware of your triggers, but as a general rule everyone has them. It is part of our individual makeup and the result of accumulated and unprocessed memories which Ho’oponopono will hopefully help you process.
For me, people who have had even a little too much to drink are my biggest trigger, as well as the news and certain movies.
A few days ago, I asked my followers to anonymously name their triggers and I was surprised by the variety of the responses. I don’t know why, I really expected more commonality. Now, as I am writing this and as I am about to tell you about this Hawaiian practice, it makes sense why our triggers are so vast and different. The responses I got varied from the ex, to money, to being ignored, conversation about diet, letting people down, confrontation, not knowing how someone will react, voices being raised, animals in distress, specific words, hand gestures, places, smells, sounds, family members etc….
If you know your triggers you are probably an expert at avoiding them. For me, I don’t watch movies, I stop reading a news article or stop watching a news segment when it goes into details or some lengthy discussion. The problem is I cannot avoid people who enjoy drinking. It’s not fair to my friends nor to anyone as it is a very common form of socializing and celebration. So, I had to learn to tolerate it and manage my almost visceral reaction to anyone who starts to slur their words. I wish I had discovered this Hawaiian practice sooner because now I use it everyday and it would have made the process so much easier.
Ho’oponopono comes from the principle that we should take responsibility for all that causes us pain. Sure, growing up with someone who had an alcohol problem is not my fault but how I react and how it affects me now can be. It took me a long time to understand this. Practicing Ho’oponopono doesn’t take away from the wrong that was done nor minimizes the pain that is felt but more acknowledges the actions that can be taken at this moment are the best and only hope to stop the pain and hopefully prevent it.
Ho’oponopono teaches that the things that deeply upset us come from unprocessed memories and traumas of our own life but as well as of our family’s and ancestors. Think about all the different ethnic groups who have been persecuted throughout history and how it still affects them today.
Ho’oponopono is a group of phrases that addresses the pain we are inflicting to ourself in the present time in regards to what happened to us in the past (that we know what it is or not). To me, what makes Ho’oponopono so different and appealing, is that you don’t have to always figure out why you feel a certain way or where it is coming from, you can just begin the processing. It’s simply recognizing that you are suddenly feeling hurt so you address yourself to your deepest self (your soul) in order to process the pain and release it. The phrases are:
I love you.
I am sorry.
Please forgive me.
So, when I feel shame, fear, doubt or even anger, I just repeat the whole thing over and over again until the physical tightness subsides and the mental dwelling stops. You can just use one of the phrases or two or three if you want. I use the whole thing because it prevents me from trying to figure out which one I need. At least, if I repeat it all, I cover all my bases.
One of the most beautiful gestures you can do towards yourself, is to say:
I love you, no matter what and just the way you are.
I am sorry for what happened to you and for how it is making you feel.
Forgive me for not addressing it sooner and for the tension and pain it is causing you.
Thank you for accepting me the way I am, and for allowing me to heal and move on.
We all have triggers but they should not debilitate us. So instead of avoiding things that are a trigger we can begin to process what happened to us by speaking to ourselves in a profound and kind way. Thanks to this Hawaiian tradition what usually causes us to react doesn’t have to anymore.
(If you wish to read more about Ho’oponopono read “The book of Ho’oponopono” by Luc Bodin.)